I’ve been having a difficult time meditating lately, my mind wanders off to a thousand different directions or I’ll fall asleep and when the meditation is over I realize that I didn’t hear anything the instructor said, except that intruding thoughts are natural, don’t judge, just observe and let it pass. I keep trying. Sometimes the guided meditations have too many words to listen to and I will try different music, chanting and crystal bowl healing music, looking outward for the way to inner peace.
There is one meditation I like about connecting to my spirit guides, When I have trouble sleeping, I like listening to it because the progressive relaxation she goes through puts me to sleep. If I wake up too early sometimes it will put me back to sleep but if I want to pay attention, I need to sit up straight in what I think of as my meditation chair. That is what I did this morning. The instructor says that messages can come in any form: feelings, visions, symbols. I keep waiting for a voice to talk to me directly but so far that has not happened. This morning however, I received a sign. I saw a pelican. It was just sitting still but it was unmistakable. At the time I did not know what it meant but the image stayed with me. I was still distracted by intruding thoughts, but this meditation was a bit more satisfying than others. When I am not feeling well it is harder to meditate, when I am feeling sad, disheartened and somewhat depressed, it’s also hard. So today? I felt somewhere in between, and the pelican stayed in my mind’s eye long after the meditation.
An hour or so later, I was still wondering why I saw a pelican so I went on line and found birdsandtrees.net, their first words were, “Isn’t it fascinating how spirituality often intertwines with nature’s creatures?” they go on to say that, “…when a pelican crosses your path (can that include seeing a vision of a pelican?), it can symbolize triumph over obstacles.” The article goes on to say that pelicans live on both land and water so symbolically pelicans represent an ability to embrace change and find different ways to thrive. When we see pelicans, the article states, “It reminds us that we have to power to overcome challenges.” Just as the pelican soars through the sky, we too can “rise above any difficulties and find renewed strength.”
I am grateful to my spirit guides for the image and inspiration that my pelican represents, it excites me because despite my distraction I am having profound meditation experiences. I am also inspired by the meaning behind the pelican. I have been writing about my resilience and I recognize it as an attribute that gets me through this emotional roller coaster cancer experience with all its highs and lows, but I still fight frustration, discouragement, and the desire for life to be over so I can move past this experience and feel free. I do not always know how to balance the two opposing feelings, but as time moves forward, I am understanding at a deeper level that I am not dying any time soon, so this balance of strength vs resistance is a battle that I am getting accustomed to. But regarding my pelican, I remember a recent trip to Florida walking along the water on a pier with fishermen and pedestrians. Sitting near the fishermen were two pelicans sitting as still as statues, undaunted by all the passerby’s. It seemed like they were waiting for the fishermen to drop their bait so they can have a meal.
So now I am thinking that pelicans not only soar through the air and adapt to land and water, but they also sit and rest and wait especially because they saw an opportunity for an easy way to obtain a meal.
There are lessons to be learned here. When I think about my struggle with resilience and resistance, I see how impatient I am to conquer this obstacle as soon as possible, but when I see any bird flying through the air on a windy day, they are facing resistance but persevering. I am learning that it is all a process.
If interested, the meditation I spoke about is by Pura Rasa, called “Connect with Spirit Guides” found on Insight Timer.