I’m now managing the symptoms of my disease,
And as you might expect, I’m feeling ill at ease.
Prednisone shrank my lymph nodes, so it looks like I’m in remission, But the abnormal T cells are there so I see it as intermission.
It’s like cleaning the door to a closet but there’s still a mess inside,
I can’t see it so it’s not there, am I supposed to take it all in stride?
It appears to be like an ostrich approach to life,
That’s really changing gears and this change gives me strife.
I like to work on something until its finished and completed,
Knowing it’s there and undone leaves me feeling depleted.
So management is the new name of the game, Buddhists may call it acceptance,
It involves letting go, letting it be, and aiming for transcendence.
In my head I know it’s the place to go,
But anger and anxiety keep me from the flow.
I often have a tendency to repress my anger,
You can say it’s management but it’s really an anchor.
The task at hand is to feel it and let it go,
A good place to aim for but I’m still “managing” the flow
Everything is a process and acceptance is my task,
I have to scream and cry and just remove my mask.
So, management and acceptance seem to be an interchangeable word,
When you think about it, it’s not really all that absurd.